Satire

Note: Tom Hansen and anyone else who cannot tell the difference, these are satirical posts.

Celebrities Attending Most Secure Event Of The Year Condemn Borders, Walls

HOLLYWOOD, CA—At the 91st Academy Awards this evening, elite celebrities flanked by bodyguards, security, metal detectors, and physical barriers like walls and fences banded together to condemn borders and walls. The celebrities made direct attacks on the concept of a wall as a means to provide security and protection, all while surrounded by high-tech security …

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Nation’s Wealthy, Privileged Gather To Lecture Nation On Evils Of Wealth, Privilege

HOLLYWOOD, CA—According to sources at the 91st annual Academy Awards ceremony this evening, the nation’s wealthy, privileged elite gathered to lecture the nation on the horrendous evils of wealth and privilege. The wealthiest 0.00001% of the nation arrived at the exclusive, walled-off, high-security event in limos and luxury cars driven by servants in order to …

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Virginia Democrats Publicly Thank Jussie Smollett For Taking All The Attention Away From Them

That they do.  RICHMOND, VA—Virginia Democrats are breathing a sigh of relief, as the Jussie Smollett hoax has taken the media’s eye off of their political trainwreck, sources confirmed today. Both Governor Ralph Northam and the state’s attorney general had drawn ire for racist photographs and blackface, while Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax has been facing …

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500-Year-Old Socialist Key To Youth Vote In 2020

ROTFL!!! U.S.—The youth vote is seen as key to a Democratic victory in 2020, but so far most of the announced candidates have not excited young people. That’s changed now that the extremely ancient socialist Bernie Sanders has slowly shuffled into the race.

White Supremacist Cancels Hate Crime, Fearing It Won’t Be Believed

Don’t be drinking anything as you read this! SAN FRANCISCO – Local white supremacist Claude Burke cancelled plans to commit a hate crime, citing a waning credibility factor. According to Burke, he didn’t have confidence that the heinous act he was planning to commit would be believable in a time when the left keeps staging fake …

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