This is hysterical. Here’s the video. The transcript follows.
Barstool Sports on Twitter: “Charles Barkley teaches America the correct way to commit a crime pic.twitter.com/Y1mMvXx4Fy / Twitter”
Charles Barkley teaches America the correct way to commit a crime pic.twitter.com/Y1mMvXx4Fy
The segment starts with co-host Ernie Johnson posting one more post-it note on a wall filled with the team’s various predictions.
Co-host Kenny Smith asks: Ernie, what’s the most ridiculous one over there that’s still living that you would say has no chance of happening?
Barkley answers from the host’s table: Two black guys beating a black guy up.
That triggers Shaq to start cracking up.
The camera shows a close-up of the wall; one note reads: “Chuck: 11/1. The Blazers will have a better record than the Pelicans.” Another reads, “11-29-18. Chuck: The Clippers will not make the playoffs.”
Smith: That’s uh … that’s not on here, man.
Johnson, trying to keep the segment on track: Uh, the Clippers, well, the Clippers will not make the playoffs, and uh —
Shaq, laughing: What kind of hat, Chuck?
Barkley: MAGAS. MAGA hat. MAGA’s hat.
As the camera shows a close-up of some of the post-it notes and Johnson returning from the wall, Johnson, still attempting to keep the show on track, says, “I think that’s probably — I think that’s probably it. Okay. The Lakers will not make the playoffs; the Kings will, is the latest position. Go ahead, Kenny. I can’t believe you, Chuck.”
Shaq: You saying, you saying we can’t write ‘em a check, Chuck? (He starts laughing hard again.)
Barkley: America. America, let me just tell you something.
Smith: What’s that?
Barkley: Do not commit crimes with checks — (Shaq loses it again) C’mon, man, If you’re going to break the law, do not write a check. (Shaq is laughing so hard he’s throwing his head back)
Smith: Cause if you’re writing a check, then what?
Shaq, laughing hard: Cash up.
Barkley: Cash, man. I never used an ATM. Now, I heard you can only get $200 out of it.
Shaq, exhausted from laughing: Charles —
Barkley: $500?
Shaq: Charles. Stop. Literally.
Barkley: You gonna make a lot of stops at an ATM?
Shaq, laughing: But you said, Chuck, America, America. (The screen shows a picture of Smollett smiling) Do not write a check when you commit illegal activity.
Johnson: I cannot believe that we completed — (Using a baseball reference) We touched ’em all, right there. Circle the bags. Touch every pillow.
Smith: He just said the Lakers would make the playoffs.
Barkley, repeating as the picture of Smollett is flashed on the screen: America, don’t commit crimes with a check. There’s Jussie; you wasted all that time and money. You know what you should have did? Just went up in Liam Neeson’s neighborhood. He could have solved all your damn problems.